Dec 11, 2011

L is for Lip Gloss

This is not a post about my favorite lip enhancer. Sorry if you came looking for something of the sort.

This is about a lesson in shoplifting.

We went to the mall tonight in search of some good Chipotle and some even better socks. We are wild, I know.

Eating Chipotle with the two children went smashingly and we all sat at the tiny people table. We got some looks, but we were the ones laughing because look who didn't need any highchairs. booyah.

Since dinner went so well, we ventured into H&M in search of all things socks. We were mostly unsuccessful and Davy found some crappy makeup, but the usual "those are for other people" and "maybe we could come back and get them some other time" worked like a charm. We are good parents.

Forever XXI trashville is on our way out the door so we decided to make a pit stop on our hunt for socks before we exited.

And boy did they have socks. Every color of made in China socks you could imagine. You know what was right next to the socks though? More makeup.

And Davy had apparently reached her limit. She grabbed a hot pink kid-sized brush and some matching lipgloss and informed us that she needed them.

So I tried the usual. "Those are for other people." And, "maybe we could come back here another time and get them." I noticed the nothavingit look on her face, so out of desperation, I added, "maybe Santa will bring you some."

 I was a little distracted by some over the knee trashy socks and then came back to her and she put the brush back with no problem and she wasn't holding the lip gloss. Again I thought, good parenting was probably behind all this obedience, no doubt.

We purchased the socks and as we were leaving Daddy suggested, just to be sure, checking the pockets in the hot pink puffy jacket our lovely 3 year old was wearing. I tried to get a few fingers in to check, but she cut me off with her little dagger finger nails. I wedged my way in despite the pain and felt what you probably have guessed. Daddy screamed "Hands high over your head where we can see 'em!"

It took me a good minute to retrieve the lip gloss from her grip of death. And when I finally did, she went absolutely berserk.

I picked her up kicking and screaming and as Daddio got the car I tried to explain to her in great detail the difference between wants and needs. I even threw in the starving children in Africa.

She just looked at me and screamed, "You never let me get anything at stores! And I don't even have any MAKEUP!"

And because she made such a crying mess of herself, some teenagers gifted her a giant red balloon. It pretty much fixed everything. Except for the small problem of her acting like a b-rat.

Tonight when we were saying our prayers, she asked if she could pray by herself. So cute.

She knelt down looked up and said, "God. Please please get me some makeup for Christmas."

Then she looked at me and asked, "Can I pray to Santa too?"

I just cut her off and ended with something a little more legit.

Debating if I should get her some lip gloss for Christmas or not...she scares me.


  1. ummmm.

    she is hilario.

    (although I know that was probably not hilario at the time...)

    love that she asked if she could pray to Santa ... too cute.

    She needs to come train Julia in comedy. so funnnny.

  2. I just laughed so hard at that story, seriously hilarious.
    I would really like an adult version of Davy's outfit- so stinking cute!!!

  3. Ohmygosh! This honestly made me laugh out loud. Oh Davy, you are so stinkin' funny and cute!

  4. ahahahaha. you're funny!



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