Sep 17, 2010

Why Babies are Awesome

1. Their smiles are never fake. And often filled with a lot of gums and pools of drool.
I'm so happy all the time.

2. They love to be loved. Just pick up a baby that needs some TLC and you can feel them go from tense to super melty. 

3. Their fat looks amazing. Seriously try to look at chubby baby thighs and not want to pinch them. This may be the only time that someone sees their fat and adorable is the only word to describe it.

5. For some unknown reason, you really do want to eat them up. Maybe it’s their fat?
the talker backer with the cute thigh girl

6. They smell so sweet. Smell a baby. Just do it.

7. They can wake you up screaming in the middle of the night over and over and you still give them whatever they want. (Probably food…but my little dear does like to wake up at 4AM to hang out with mom and dad and warm up her vocal chords for the day.)

8. You can dress them however you want. It’s so fun. You know it is. Look what this mom does while her baby is asleep!

9. They don’t talk back! They listen to everything you say with great interest. Albeit they don't know what your saying mostly but hey cheaper than therapy eh?
10. They are instant mood enhancers. Say goodbye to your recreational drugs and boozing. Babies increase endorphins! When you're feeling blue (like this little girl.) Just look lovingly at your baby and studies show….PoW! instant happy hormones! Woohoo.

The Temporary Twos

I used to think people were over-dramatic or did not know how to parent when they referred to the "terrible twos." Puuuh-lease. Even when I nannied and babysat some pretty wacko two year olds I figured it was from lack of structure at home or inconsistent discipline. How hard can it be? They are just small children. Right?

Today was like any other day at home with my lovely two year old Davy. Here is my day with the glass half empty...

Woke up screaming "I don't want to go to bed!" at 6AM. (That was Davy by the way, not me.)

She climbed into Gianna's crib with her. danger.

Hit me from flailing her appendages while screaming "mine" - I lost count how many times this happened.

She fell bottom first in the toilet with her flamingo dress on. (It was a little funny.)

She tried several times to pick up Gianna and did successfully drag her a few inches while I was in the room.

She took letters from Gianna in the bath. She poured water on Gianna's head in the bath.

She learned how to get water from the refrigerator and filled up any and everything in our home within her reach with the water from the refrigerator. She spilled water all over the place.

She stood on the toilet, turned on the water and burned her little fingers. :(

She took her diaper off. She put underwear on. She put more underwear on. She changed her leggings more than 4 times. I remember seeing her in purple, brown, green, and striped, but I think there may have been more.

She peed next to the potty. so close. Then she traipsed about the living room with her pee feet.

She pooped through her clothes. Sick. I hate poop.

She hung her entire weight on our counter and almost did a pullup to get what she wanted. (a cup for more water fun.)

She pulled a chair to the cabinets to try to get a vitamin. (don't worry they are childlocked and waaaaay high- but in her defense, why do they have to taste so good?)

She tried to climb a shelf to get stickers reserved for potty success.

She refused to eat lunch and only wanted fruit leather or cereal or cream cheese and jam on toast. I guess that's not sooo bad.

This is all I can think of off the top of my head for today. And at least today she didn't run outside with a diaper on. Darn you and your door opening skills child.

But don't worry there were happy times too...(And I'm not just talking about nap time.)
 Here is my day with the glass half full....

We sang songs together all day long. 

We read books together.

She asked me deep theological questions.

She told me she loved me soooo much.

She gave my more kisses and hugs than I could count.

When I asked her if she would like to color she said, "that sounds really nice."

We colored.

She told Gianna that she was a "feet" (sweet) girl like 20 times...

She danced with Gianna in the excersaucer jumperoo contraption.

She would scream and laugh and get all excited as Gianna almost sat up on her own.

She wiped Gianna's nose with a tissue several times.

She got wipes and diapers for me while I was changing Gianna. She threw away dirty diapers in the garbage.

She played on a keyboard with no batteries and sang a song about baby Moses for our after dinner entertainment.

She fed her babies out of bottles and heisted my breast pump to try to get some milk for her babes.

She gave Godzilla (her daddy's favorite childhood toy) a bath in her kitchen sink twice (Once was after we put her down for the night.)

She helped me clean up after most of her messes.

She cleaned up all the crayons and paper by herself after only being asked once.

We had a meaningful discussion about sharing after watching the very exciting Elmo in Grouchland

She is absolutely positively a trip and the most fun and exhausting little person I have met. She has the cutest brown eyes that are really hard to say no to. And many times throughout the day, I have to turn around because I am laughing and then get my "No" mom voice out.

So basically I really try to have structure around here and consistent disciplining, but the girl is just crazy and I know that she won't be 2 forever. So, I am trying to enjoy the wonderfulness with the chaos.The terrible two's do exist but thankfully they are mixed in with so much hilarity that you get through.

Someday when I get a little more figured out I'll post all my best tricks for making Davy be sweet. ;)

Sep 12, 2010

How to Remove Credit Cards from the CD slot in your Mac

You may be asking yourself why there were credit cards shoved in the CD slot in my Mac. Or you may happen to know my two year old and correctly assumed that she loaded them all up when I turned my head for literally one second. Granted I left my wallet a foot from my computer because I was ordering some online gifts. I guess I was asking for it.
obviously guilty most of the time (see above as she attempts to cook alphabet magnets into muffins)

If you have ever seen the movie ELF. The situation was reminiscent of the part when he apologized for shoving 11 cookies in the VCR. I almost laugh cried. I opened my wallet and couldn't find my credit cards or license and I remember catching Davy trying to insert them and stopping her just in time. Apparently my very firm "no" was not enough to deter her when my back was turned and she must have worked quickly because I was in the same room with her. Anyway. I'm glad that little fun is over. And I even found another mother it happened to here.

I tried a few things to remove them:

1) inserting a flat small eating utensil (tiny knife)..did not work
2) tweezers-did not work
3) getting angry at the computer-did not work
4) wanting to cry at the thought of loosing my license and two credit cards along with a broken Mac-did not work
5) thinking about calling the Apple Store- did not work
Lucky 6) shaking my computer as I carried it in surrender- did work. they fell out. sweet lovin. If this happens to you shake your baby computer hard people. Please keep in mind that the previous link to shake your computer is a 'shaking your baby safely' product. (It is extremely terrible and offensive. And it's a joke.)

Thanks goodness my internet is working again. Phone blogging was getting old.

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