(1 point) If you've smell-checked clothes to play "to wash or not."
(2 points) Cheerios exploding under your feet. all. the. time.
(3 points) You've wiped snot with something other than a tissue.
(3 points) You've been peed on.A
You've teared up in joy over...
(3 points) a poo success in the potty
(1 point) an "I love you" from a tiny human
(2 points) watching your child or 2+ play in peace
(1 point) You've played name that smell as you walk into a room.
(3 points) Going to the bathroom alone feels like a mini vacation.
(1 point) Your heart is three times the size it used to be and/or other bodily things are too.
(2 points) You've gone toilet bowl fishing against your will for drowned household objects.
(3 points) You've eaten food off someone's face.
(2 points) Cleaning alone is enjoyable.
(3 points) Tiny eyes copying your every move help you be more like the person you wish you were.
+_______
25-30+ I think it's safe to say- bravo my friend, you are one awesome mama. Or maybe a sweet dad. Or a kick @ss nanny.
19-25 You are either a mom with sanitation boundaries (good for you). Maybe a newbie mom. Or maybe
a college student or bachelor/ette with no sanitation boundaries. If you are not a mom, you are well on your way with such great preparation.
13-18 You like to babysit, but aren't sure if you are ready to be a parent because of the disgustingness. Fret not. No one is. You are still very maternal or paternal.
0-13 You've done a few gross things but mainly for puppies. It's ok. Puppies and children have some similarities in the potty training department. Except at about age 18 when all dogs go to heaven,
o.m.gosh. this post tops them all in the witty and hilarious and so true categories!
ReplyDeletehahaha. this is hilarious. I thought I had 'seen' it all with a five month old.
ReplyDeleteguess not!!!
I'm so there- 27. I think I need to add you to my blogroll now cause your too funny.
ReplyDeleteMo, you should write a book. I'm serious. I fall under the "kick @ss nanny category... soon to be mommy" but all of the toddler things just crack me up!!! So witty! I'll admit. . . i've even read your posts more than once because of how funny they are!
ReplyDelete@Grace Marie you have so much more exciting adventures in motherhood coming your way soon. And I love your blog. You are so funny.
ReplyDelete@Amy thank you much :)
@Grace Ellen I would love to write a book someday. I'm afraid that Davy pretty much writes anything funny herself with her crazy antics. Way to be a kick @ss nanny. And yay for being a soon to be mama! wooohoo.