Oct 2, 2010

If Momma Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy

When I was little my mom had this little framed saying in her bathroom:

As I child, I naturally took this to mean that if anyone in the house was crabby or having a bad day it could probably be traced back to my mom.  Naively I thought most bad moods were her fault.

Fast forward 20 years, and here I am with little bambinas of my own: now I'm the Momma. While I would like to think my moments of sing-a-longs and infinite patience paint the reality here, unfortunately that's not the case.
Davy and Maggie are happy mommas

Sometimes I am crabby. And sometimes I do have good excuses. Here are a few I used to keep on hand: no sleep due to babies, no sleep due to sucky colon, a crazy two year old, hours and hours and days and days of work with no pay, no play and no break, wacked out hormones, sucky colon again and other lame things like that.

But then I remembered something a friend once told me: it's your choice if you are going to have a bad day or a good day. Most days have good times and bad. It's all in how you look at it and on what you choose to dwell.

So, lately I have been a little short with short people in my life, namely, Davy. She is adorable and mischievous and has almost no concept of listening to her mother. Recently, I've been running out of songs, timeouts, bribes, and patience. So a day ago she bit me hard and would not let go of my leg with her teeth. It hurt. I like to think she thought she just had my jeans...but anyway I had to push her off me mid-chomp. Literally, it was a reaction. And she was a complete wreck because she said I pushed her. To be fair, I did push her off me. I have black and blue teeth marks on my leg to help me remember the occasion. She was really upset that I pushed her. She kept saying over and over. You pushed me, you pushed me. It was so sad. And if I could go back, I would probably push her off me again because biting really hurts. Anyway she was cranky before she bit me. Maybe if someone else hadn't been so crabby beforehand this biting situation would not have happened in the first place. This little episode was a final straw and I decided to turn over a new leaf for one day.

my little running wanderer

The Experiment:
For one day I would spoil her with love and with attention and try to not be cranky at all. I did this for one day. Her behavior was about the same. The difference was that I felt fantastic. She just wasn't getting to me as much because I had resolved to be all sugary no matter what. Then day 2 hit and I decided to just roll with it. She definitely seemed much much happier. I'm trying to keep the streak until she hits the thrilling threes. ;)

Funny how sometimes it seems like we are a victim of circumstances when in reality we have much more control over our moods and the moods of those around us than we think.

So I decided that the saying is kind of true. Moms do set the mood in their home more than they realize... I like to think that if people are happy it's because of the Momma and if they are crabby it's their own fault. just joking with ya.


  1. I loved that bunny sign!

    Thanks for helping keep mommas happy!

  2. Thanks, Maureen. Today was "one of those days" around here. Momma was in a capital B bad mood. And really still is. I need the girls to put themselves down for naps and stay there for like 3 hours...that way I can clean, nap and bake all before they wake up...and then have a smile on my face, right? Oh, and make dinner...oh and put laundry away....crap...oh well...it was a nice thought :)

  3. Love it Maureen! You are so right...the days I decide to "roll with the punches" (or tantrums as the case may be) they really
    don't get to me nearly as much if at all. So why is it so hard to remember that? Human nature? Wanting things my way? Wanting things to he perfect and painless? Not wanting to bitten on the leg? Thanks for the reminder ;-)

  4. @Katie, are you sure that one was the bunny one too? I made sure to remind Brad to keep his bride happy :)
    @Sarah I'm right there with ya today. I was trying to think if I knew anyone I could pay to come over for like 30 minutes so I could get something done...btw I was entirely unsuccessful :)
    @LA it is soooo hard everyday. I feel like it's so easy to take things personally from tiny people. I told Davy her concupiscence was showing the other morning at breakfast when she was being a little terror and she said very politely, "Thank you mommy." It was like a scene from The Little Rascals. Maybe patronizing her isn't the nicest thing to do but sometimes it gets me through:).

  5. Oh, I so needed this post. I yelled at my lil guy and felt horrible. It
    was than a yell. I screamed at him. I've felt pretty horrible all day.

  6. Hi! Stopping by from MBC. Great blog.
    Have a nice day!

  7. @Trisha Q Mom guilt is the worst and I am sure you are a waaaaay nicer mom than I am. Your kids look adorable and I love reading your blog.

    @Veronica Lee Thanks! And I will check yours out as well:)


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