How to be a Good Wife

1. Have dinner ready every night upon his return or a fast food plan and a smile.
2. House immaculate orrrrr when he pulls in the drive way run around like a chicken with your head cut off for a good 15-30 seconds.
3. Clean some clothes or have a few options of clean socks for the next day.
4. Take a shower or put on a hat.
5. Be a nice nurse when he is sick, even though you just had the same illness whilst growing a baby and taking care of two other sickos or just don't. I won't judge.
6. Stay cool when he falls asleep during scheduled finance meeting.

Like riiiight now.
7. Pack his lunch box for work. Do not put it in a cereal box cut to look like a happy meal. That is a really bad ugly idea and it could cost him his job and public ridicule. Don't ask me how I know.
8. Make him breakfast or make him eat breakfast. It's important. Coffee is not a meal.
9. Tell him what a great guy he is. often and smile when you do it. You can't go wrong with this one.
10. Do not take pictures of him sleeping and plaster them all over the internet. Grow up. If you do that you are putting yourself in serious danger of negating #1-#9.

Missed you little bloggie. The silver lining on a rain cloud of failed finance meetings. Sorry Dave Ramsey. Thanks for keeping my laptop from giving me 3rd degree burns and for attending the meeting.

I hope you all have a fab night.  

Anddd just in case you missed the "New Baby" Single. Fret not. There are more videos where that came from.

New Single from a New Artist about a New Baby

This is what happened. I was actually vainly and awkwardly taking a picture of myself to see if I could figure out what the annual hair cut possibilities were. She jumped in front of me and started singing some made up song about the child in my womb.

When Your Kid Says the F Word

We were all sitting down at dinner a few nights ago, looking at each other, eating, smiling. All was well. Gianna was talking about something no one could understand, Christopher and I were making light chit chat about our darling children and Davy was giving us the inside view of a day at preschool.

"Mom. And. Dad. Jack is so funny"

Awww. Really? Why Davy?

She paused and looked up as she was obviously in deep thought.

"Because......he said FUUUUUUUUDGEEEEEE." Except with less of the "djjjj" sound and more of the "k" sound.

Christopher and I looked at each other with sheer panic and dropped jaws. I desperately tried to hold it together with my eyes to communicate that he must rescue the situation without encouraging her to repeat the profanity by laughing and making sure she never never ever says it again and surely does not think it is appropriate for light dinner humor.

Then I dove into the dark recesses of my mind and unearthed some enormous mother of all guilt for sending my baby 3 year old to preschool where she is learning the freaking F word. I threw her to the wolves. I suck. What will become of her now. Doomed. Doooooomed.

Then everything took a crazy turn.

Davy was still speaking. She didn't hear our internal horror or notice our appalled faces. And ironically with wolves already on my racing mind, I hear her little who-ville voice.

"ummmmm...he said that FO-XXXXES are the same as wolves. Isn't that hilarious?" It was that tricksy plural fox.

At first I started laughing nervously...because I couldn't believe we got out so easy. Then Christopher joined in and our laughter got louder and scarier and Davy started laughing, followed by little clueless Gianna. It was a little creepy but much better than what could have happened.

Thanks Jack for thinking foxes and wolves are the same thing and for not teaching Davy the F word quite yet.