Creative Ways to Talk on the Phone with Little Kids

1. Hide in their closet while they are playing in a room. Maybe they won't hear you. Then you can divulge to your sister all the juicy gossip about your neighbor's new small tree they planted in their front yard.

I'm learning about Vegetables actors in Bible stories that have no limbs.

2. Use your speaker phone and transform any place in your home into your own personal telephone party with your friend as you schedule an outing that combines learning and fun.
3. Sit them in front of an education film that will teach them how to read and compute simple math equations all the while providing stimulating and entertaining fun while you and your husband have an "I love you more" playful fight on the phone.

Oh Mom! You're face is hilarious.

4. Sit them down at the table and give them their favorite healthy snack. Try carrots shaped as acorns. Or apple sauce across a white plate that spells "I love you" in cursive. Then you can give ample attention to the interesting and witty insurance company telemarketer and their great life insurance policies.
5. Multi-task. It's easy! Sit down with them and color out of their favorite coloring book while you schedule your next dentist appointment.
6. Entertain your kids with hilarious facial expressions while you talk to your cousin about her recent breakup. Hint: practice next time your in the car driving your kids to the zoo. Hardly anyone is paying attention to other drivers anymore. They all seem to be texting each other.

7. Disregard all 6 ridiculous ways to talk on the phone and don't do it unless your children are safely and humanely strapped to something or in some sort of cage.

I love being strapped in!

WARNING: If you do not heed this advice chaos may and probably will ensue.

Just today while I ran to answer the phone, my adorable and curious two year old for the second time in the last week filled up the bathroom sink with water and threw a full roll of toilet paper roll in it which immediately turned into mushy toilet paper water and clogged our bathroom sink.

Children turn into crazies when moms and possibly dads are on the phone. The child you were just reading to or coloring with lets out sounds you have never heard a human make. Babies will need you and children will injure themselves and the property and people around them.

If you really need to talk to a mom on the phone. Either call her at midnight or expect to hear alarming and terrifying noises on the other end. Or maybe your kids aren't as crazy as mine.